Get ready to reveal a collection of the “Best Dark Humor Jokes” that will push the envelope and challenge your sense of morality. Approach them with an open mind, willing to accept life’s darker absurdity.
As we face discomfort with a sprinkle of irony, a dash of cynicism, and an unwavering embrace of the shadows, we uncover the humor hidden in life’s most unlikely nooks. Come along on this journey through the world of the “Best Dark Humor Jokes” and experience the surreal humor that abounds in the shadows.
Dark Humor Jokes No Limits
These are some of the darkest jokes that bravely enter taboo territory. Get ready for a collection that pushes boundaries, offends sensibilities, and tests the limits of humor.
- A woman who is blind confides in her boyfriend that she has been seeing someone else. It could be either terrible or great news.
- When I knocked on my grandma’s door, she was like, “Who’s there?” I understood that Alzheimer’s had finally overcome her.
- Ya know what? I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m done with this whole adulting thing.
- When I see a bird fly, I always have a range of emotions. I get jealous, but I laugh heartily when it flies into a window.
- I came up with a new term for a group of white people sitting together on a bench and calling it NBA.
- For a few hours, a match is all a man needs to remain warm. If you light a dude up, he’ll be toasty forever.
Funny Dark Humor Jokes
These are the best funny dark humor jokes, where twisted laughter meets the unexpected. Enter with an open mind and a dash of devilish humor as we explore the comedic side of life’s darkest corners.
- When YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook merge, they might be called “YouTwitFace.“
- When people from the past, the present, and the future walked into a bar, the mood immediately got more tense.
- It would be great if tires had confetti inside, so it’s still a festive occasion, even on a flat tire.
- Bread is similar to the sun—it rises with yeast and sets in our waistlines.
- Geology is fascinating, but geography is where the real action is.
- Despite 70% of the Earth being water, none is carbonated. In this sense, the Earth does not have any depth.
- What kind of vehicle does an egg call its own? A Yolksvagen.
- I bravely exterminated a bug at home, only to realize it was a mere piece of lint.
- The corduroy pillow may be familiar to you. It’s causing a real ruckus right now.
- I was about to share a joke about carpentry, but I couldn’t find any material for that woodwork.
Best Dark Humor Jokes
Enter the world of the best dark humor jokes, where the most unlikely situations can make you laugh. These bizarre comedies skirt the line between taboo and convention.
- Learn to spell… AutoCorrect isn’t always written.
- Disappointingly, Head & Shoulders does not provide a product called “Knees & Toes” body wash.
- The world can be divided into two groups, those who can extrapolate from limited information and everyone else.
- I feel sorry for batteries. I’m not included in anything, either.
- I like what mechanics wear…overall.
- You probably weren’t aware of this, but Davy Crockett had three ears. He has a wild frontier in both of his ears.
Very Dark humor Jokes
Very dark humor jokes challenge social norms and blend wit and irony to create a unique brand of humor that will make you gasp and chuckle simultaneously. They challenge social norms and blend wit and irony to create a unique brand of humor.
- I thought it was polite to open the door for a woman, but she shouted and bolted from the aircraft.
- I stole my girlfriend’s wheelchair after she dumped me. Who did you see coming backward crawling?
- Man: What kind of preparation are you planning to use for the chicken?
Waiter:Simply, we inform them that they are going to die.
- On the refrigerator, my wife wrote the following: “this is not working”.
I have no idea what she’s talking about because the refrigerator is functioning perfectly.
- Option 1: Let’s eat Grandpa.
Option 2: Let’s eat, Grandpa.
That settles the matter. Deaths avoided because of punctuation.
- On a farm, why is it to keep a secret?
The maize has ears, the potatoes have eyes, and the beanstalk has a stalk.
- Have you read about the mathematics instructor who feared negative numbers?
He would do anything to escape.
- How come some couples don’t visit the zoo?
Since they cannot stand it.
- I advised my wife to accept her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
- My intention was to make a joke about traveling across time.
However, you disliked it.
Dark Humor Animal Jokes
Explore your twisted sense of humor as we journey into a world where animals are the unlikely protagonists of our comedic stories.
- What uttered the grape when the elephant trod upon it? Nothing, it only released a small amount of wine.
- An eyeless fish is called what? Fsh.
- When the chicken visited the seance, why? To talk to the other side.
- Why don’t ants ever get sick? Because of their tiny anty-bodies.
- How to capture a squirrel? Climb a tree and act nutty.
Dark Humor Food Jokes
These satirical food jokes will take you on a sinister culinary journey. These jokes serve up a plateful of dark humor not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach, from puns that are so bad they’re good to the clever wordplay that leaves a bitter aftertaste.
- What is a sleeping pizza known as? PiZZZa.
- How did the tomato become red? Seeing the salad dressing was the reason.
- How do you refer to cheese that is not your own? Nacho cheese.
- What caused the banana to visit a doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
- What is the name for fake spaghetti? That’s just an imposter, dude..
Dark humor Knock-Knock Jokes
- Knock, knock.
Is anyone there?
Lettuce.
Who is the lettuce?
Hey, come on in! It’s freezing out there.
- Knock, knock.
Is anyone there?
Cow says.
Who’s the cow, anyway?
Cow says moooo.
- Knock, knock.
What’s the word?
Olive.
To which Olive?
Both Olive and I are missing you.
- Knock, knock.
What’s the word?
Harry.
Who is Harry?
Stand up, Harry, and answer the door.
- Knock, knock.
What’s the word?
Razor.
Where’s the razor?
The secret to black comedy is a razor’s edge of wit.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Casket.
Casket who?
The casket you shall receive, a morbidly funny punchline.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Slaughter.
Slaughter who?
Slaughter your boredom with a twisted joke.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Midnight.
Midnight who?
Midnight snacks and dark humor go hand in hand.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Reaper.
Reaper who?
Reaper up. It’s time for another dark joke.
- Knock, knock.
What’s the word?
Dishes.
Serves who?
Tell the cops everything! We guarantee your hilarity, and we have proof.
- Knock, knock.
What’s the word?
The lead broke off in my pencil.
Whose pencil is broken?
Don’t bother, and there’s no use in trying.
- Knock, knock.
What’s the word?
Cereal.
Who needs cereal, anyway?
Food poisoning is caused by breakfast cereal. Confused? It’s only a joke… right?
- Knock, knock.
What’s the word?
Justin.
Who is Justin?
Some gloomy comedy, please, Justin.
- Knock, knock.
What’s the word?
Darkness.
The Darkness?
The sun sets.
Dark Humor Dad Jokes
- Son: Dad, would you mind putting my shoes on?
Dad: I don’t think they’ll fit me. They’re a little small for my size.
- Son: Dad, can you tell me what time the library opens?
Dad: Sorry, son, I don’t know. It’s always been closed whenever I’m there.
- Son: Dad, I’m cold.
Dad: Son, please go and stand over there. It’s very hot—90 degrees.
- Son: Dad, Make me a sandwich, please.?
Dad: Poof! You’re a sandwich.
Dark Humor Punny Jokes
- I’m currently reading a book on anti-gravity. You won’t be able to stop reading it.
- Right now, I’m immersed in a helium tome. Absolutely inspiring. It’s so uplifting.
- Before, I was a baker for a living. But I just wasn’t able to rake in enough cash.
- Yesterday evening, I popped a mussel at a seafood disco.
- The bicycle was unable to stand because it was two-tired.
Dark Humor Stupid Jokes
- Sound cannot travel as quickly as light. Because of this, some people seem intelligent until they open their mouths.
- Never argue with a fool, they will first attempt to drag you down to their level, and then they will defeat you with their superior level of experience.
- Why is it that a stupid jerk can’t call 911? — He can’t find the 11 on the phone.
- If, at first, you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
- What do you do if an idiot throws a grenade at you? — Pull the pin and throw it back at him.
Dark Humor School Jokes
- What gave the math textbook such a downcast expression? Mostly because of all the problems that existed with it.
- The reason the music teacher was arrested. Because he got in treble.
- The student ate his homework. Why? Because his instructor assured him it would be easy.
- Why did the biology teacher go broke? Because he couldn’t find any new cells.
- Why did the history book get bad grades? Because it kept bringing up the past.
Dark Humor Sports Jokes
- What did one soccer goal say to the other goal? “Let’s kick it!”
- Why don’t some fish like to play basketball? Because they’re petrified of what they might find on the Internet.
- A string seemed like an odd item for the soccer player to bring. So he could tie the score.
- What was the vending machine’s response to the football coach? I said, “Give me my quarterback”.
- Why did the golfer bring two sets of pants? For fear of scoring an albatross.
Dark Humor Technology Jokes
- Why did the computer visit a physician?? It had a virus.
- Why did the smartphone bring sunglasses? It had a bright screen.
- Why did the developer lose everything? Because he couldn’t find his keys on the keyboard.
- This scarecrow’s triumph in computer science begs the question. Why? Because he was so exceptional at what he did.
- If programmers are using dark mode, why is that? Because light attracts bugs.
Dark Humor Relationship Jokes
- Why did the couple go to therapy? Because they had too many unresolved issues.
- What caused the scarecrow and cornstalk to part ways? It heard it was just a husk.
- Why did the calendar break up with the clock? They were too caught up to hang out much.
- What did the lightbulb say to its counterpart? “You make my world brighter.”
- What did the dish say to the plate? Dinner is on me.
Dark Humor Travel Jokes
- Why did the travel agent become a gardener? Because they wanted to help people go “bay-leafing.”
- When will the UK get penguins? They’re scared of Wales, apparently.
- Why don’t some fish like to go on long trips? The car pool terrifies them.
- The plane went to college to learn why? It desired to become a pilot.
- What did one mountain say to the other mountain? “Hi, I peak-ed your interest.”
Dark Humor Doctor Jokes
- Doctor: I’m sorry to break it to you, but you have ten years to live because of your terminal sickness.
Patient: I asked, “What do you mean by ten? Months? Weeks?”.
Doctor: “Nine.”
- Patient: “Doctor, I think I’m a bridge.”
Doctor: “What’s come over you?”
Patient: “Two cars, a truck, and a bus.”
- Doctor: “You need an operation.”
Patient: “I want a second opinion.”
Doctor: As it turns out, “Okay, you’re ugly too.”
- Patient: “I swallowed a spoon!” the sufferer screamed.
Doctor: “Remain seated and do not make any noise.”
- Doctor: “I’m sorry, but you’re suffering from a condition called ‘coconutitis’.”
Patient: “What’s that?”
Doctor: “It means you’ve got a hard nut to crack.”
Dark Humor Bar Jokes
- When a man enters a bar, he says, “Ouch.”
Bartender: “Why did you say ‘ouch’?”
Man: “Because it’s a bar and supposed to be crowded.”
- There was a horse in the bar. When asked by the bartender, “Hey, why the long face?”.
- An individual enters a bar wearing a duck on his head. The bartender inquires, “Can I back you up?” The duck yells, “Get this guy off my butt.”
- Two peanuts were out and about on the town. One was assaulted.
- What caused the computer to visit the bar? To get a byte to eat.
Dark Humor Music Jokes
- Why don’t skeletons play music in church? Because they have no organs.
- Did you hear about the musician who lost their job? They couldn’t handle the “staff” cuts.
- The drummer’s twin daughters were referred to as? Anna One and Anna Two.
- What do you call a fish that can play an instrument? A bass-ist.
- Why did the musician always bring a ladder to gigs? To reach the high notes.
Dark Humor Holiday Jokes
- Why do Christmas trees like to knit? Because they’re so good at purling.
- What did the grape say to the raisin on Valentine’s Day? The phrase “I raisin you up” means “I lift you up.”
- What does one call Santa Claus when he takes a break? Santa Pause.
- How did the English teacher wish everyone a happy holiday? By giving out “punny” holiday cards filled with literary references.
- Why did the PE teacher dress up as Santa Claus? They wanted to spread the holiday spirit through some “fit-mas” activities.
Dark Humor Science Jokes
- Why do scientists not believe in atoms? They are responsible for making the world we live in possible.
- Why did the germs choose the stairwell? Considering how busy the elevator was.
- What did the stubbed toe cell remark to his sister’s cell? “Mitosis”.
- Why did the biology teacher and the physics teacher part ways? There was no chemistry.
- Why did the skeleton go to the science fair? To learn about the funny bone.
Dark Humor Job Jokes
- I used to work in a shoe recycling factory. It was sole-destroying.
- I left my position as a banker because I lost interest.
- My supervisor wished me a happy day., so I went home.
- I informed my manager that my mathematical skills warranted a salary increase. He said, “Prove it.” So I said, “Give me a raise, and I’ll stop doing math!”
- I left the doughnut factory where I worked because I was tired of the hole business.
Random Dark Humor Jokes
- What do you call a bull that is asleep??
One of those bulldozers.
- Tissue dancing instructions.
You made it boogie a little bit.
- Why does the photo have to be locked up anyway?
It was framed.
- How come the sesame seed wouldn’t leave the casino?
He was on a roll.
- The infant strawberry cried, but why?
His parents were in a jam.
Dark Humor Science Fiction Jokes
- Why don’t aliens eat clowns? Why? Because they have an off flavor.
- Why did the mechanical man cut calories? It had too many bytes,
- How is the moon’s haircut? Eclipse it,
- How does an astronaut communicate with the Martians? He uses his “spacebook”.
- How does an alien keep its skin looking young? With “UFO” (Ultra Facial Ointment).
Dark Humor Halloween Jokes
- Why don’t ghosts like rain? It’s a real downer for them.
- A sand-witch.
- What did the first ghost tell the second ghost? “Do you believe in people?”
- What is a ghost’s favorite exercise? Deadlifts.
- What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultrygeist.
Dark Humor Corny Work jokes
- Today, I saw a guy pulling a clam on a leash. It must be tough managing a strained mussel.
- Boss: Are you skilled at PowerPoint? Me: I’m a master at it. Boss: Was that an Office 365 joke? Me: Affirmative.
- Me: I have the urge to see new places. Bank Account: Sure, how about the route to work?
- Smonday: The instant when the dread of Monday’s arrival overshadows Sunday’s joy.
- I’m seeing someone from the admin team now. They definitely check all my criteria.
- What content does a pirate prefer? WebinARRRRRR.
- Why did one car company launch an offensive against another? It’s automotive warfare.
- Two snowmen stood in a meadow. One remark, “Funny, I smell carrots too.
- What caused the candle to give up his position? His energy had finally run out.
- My brother has a pair of Dobermans named Rolex and Timex. They’re his watchdogs.
- I was visiting a diabetes awareness site, and it inquired if I accepted cookies. Is this some kind of trap?
- Why would a pig clad in black never be harassed? Because Batman has vowed to safeguard goth ham.
- A fundamental force in the universe is gravity, but if you take it away, you get…
- What would you call someone who doesn’t have a face or a nose? Nobody knows.
- Does a child commit nap resistance if he or she refuses to take a nap?
- I had my hearing aids serviced a few weeks ago. Haven’t received any update since.
- What is usually lifted by a forklift? Meals, mostly.
- Beethoven’s preferred fruit? Ba-na-na-na.
- Two sailors spot a giant hand emerging from the sea. It sways from side to side. One sailor tells the other, “Did you see the magnitude of that wave?”
- Consuming cigarettes can kill you. Eating bacon can kill you. But if you smoke bacon, it gets cured.
Dark Humour Jokes That Cross the Line
- Where would a banana and apple go for a honeymoon? Pearis
- One friend congratulated the other friend on his newborn baby…The second friend replied: “Yeah, we didn’t have anything else to do in Covid”
- Why can’t Paul Walker go to his nearest gym? Because he’s dead.
- Why would a laptop go to a psychiatrist? Because it had too many bytes of anxiety.
- What is the most terrible thing about parallel lines? They can never make out.
- What can hit your head hard but is considered soft? Soda Can
- I witnessed two zombies together. Regrettably, their love appears to be lifeless.
- Cinderella struggled in football because she constantly ran away from the ball!
- Which dance style would a cashew nut and hazelnut perform? Nutella
- I had feelings for my tutor, which was crazy, considering I was homeschooled.
- God created women with beautiful eyes, lovely hair, soft lips, and a speaking power that trashed it all.
- If a person keeps his mouth shut, if he is wrong, then he is a wise man. If a person keeps his mouth shut even though he is right, then he’s probably married.
- Where might two angels engage in a competition? It would be a “match in heaven”!
- Why can’t a zoo keeper open his banana? Because he didn’t have a mon-key
- She told her boss that 3 companies were interested in her and demanded an increment. The boss inquired and got to know a satisfying answer. It was a water, gas, and electricity company.
- What is the worst thing about paperless offices? Toilets
- Name the animal that always gets spotted. Leopard
- What’s the term for a frog that’s parked unlawfully? Toad
- What is the best part of falling in love with the welder? You can experience the sparks flying.
Cute Dark Humour Jokes
- Which dance style would a cashew nut and hazelnut perform? Nutella
- In today’s modern world, who is a man that walks straight with his head held high? A guy without his cell phone.
- I love boxing jokes as they are quite punchy.
- Recipe for Black Smoked Chicken- Wash and clean your chicken, sprinkle salt and spices, and put in the oven. Now the last step – Go and check your Instagram account. Voila! Yummy Black Smoked Chicken ready…
- Why couldn’t the tulip ride his bicycle? Its petals were broken.
- What was Neil Armstrong’s favorite candy? Mars Chocolate
- Joe: Hi, Mary. Do you know which month is considered the smallest among all? Mary: May- it got only 3 alphabets
- I was going to take you guys for a treat, but I lost my car keys.
- Who would enjoy a turtle ride the most? A Snail
- How would a snowman’s girlfriend feel when she gets proposed to by him? Melted
- A boy was alone in the house watching a scary movie. Suddenly he heard a voice. He shouted who’s there? A voice replied, “No one”. The boy felt relieved to hear that no one else was there.
- Why did a book go to a hospital? Because it had a paper-cut
- What would you call a potato with a bad temperament? A steamed veggie
- What did one oven say to the other? Desserts on me
- Why did people think Newton was crazy? Because they didn’t understand the GRAVITY of his thoughts.
- How did Micheal Jackson always stay so cool? Because he had tons of fans.
- What happens if a strawberry has a bad day? It turns into a blue-berry
- Which is the most expensive fish in the world? A GoldFish
- What would Lionel Richie say to his girl? “HELLOO! Is it me you’re lookin’ for?
- Enjoy and live your dreams and keep pressing the snooze button.
- Can a frog jump higher than a tree? Of Course…trees don’t jump.
- What is Neil Armstrong’s favorite key on the keyboard? The Spacebar
Best Light-hearted Dark Humour Jokes
- Where would an egg go for a holiday trip? Yolkshire
- What vet would recommend a pig for his injured leg? An oinkment
- Laziness might be the worst habit, but it does deserve some appreciation for its consistent approach to conserving energy.
- My family literally laughed at me when I told them that I got accepted at the clown college.
- Ghostwriting is old-school. We got a new writing style to master now- It’s called Vampirewriting.
- A person looked worried. His friend asked him the reason. The person replied: I Lost 150 POUNDS ( £ 150)
- He never packs any gifts, even though he is a good rapper.
- Last week, my buddy Phillip decided to bid his lip farewell in a surgical parting. And voilà, now he goes by the name Phil – a true minimalist!
- The bike fell as it was 2 tired.
- I can nap anytime, anywhere, even with closed eyes.
- Who is the toughest sea animal to fight with? An armed octopus
- What kind of discussion would a triangle have with a circle? Pointless
- What can you buy at the stock market? A lot of chicken broth.
- What is the best way to yell at your boss? Yell inside your head.
- What’s a lawsuit? A uniform worn by lawyers
- What kind of bow works best when it’s raining? A rainbow
- Her boss asked her to add humor to the presentation, so she decided to show her paycheck in the opening slide.
- What is big, has 4 tires, and flies? A bin van
- What would you call an introverted fish? A selfish
- My idea of a balanced diet- A double cheeseburger with fries and a chilled beer.
- Teacher: I want a responsible student for this job. A student raises his hand and replies: I can do it – When I put the house on fire, my mom said that I was responsible”
The Naughtiest Dark Humour Jokes
- A patient undergoing heart surgery asked the doctor if they would be capable of playing the piano after the procedure. The doctor responded positively. The patient felt pleased, as he didn’t know a thing about pianos.
- What would Terminator say to the guy in an Icecream truck- I’ll be back
- What kind of chat can really cost you? Speaking to a lawyer!
- Where do young cats receive swimming lessons? At the kitty pool.
- Elevator jokes are incredibly amusing because they operate on multiple levels.
- What is the thing that hits the ground hard but never gets hurt? Rain
- A man to a stranger: What is the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stranger: Tell your wife you’re having an affair.
- My boyfriend has an amazing s*x drive. I mean, we live 60 miles apart from each other.
- Who would you call a gentle-men? A person who buys an expensive cell phone and cleans it with his breath.
- I hate cleaning in the falls- but on second thought- I don’t like it in winter, spring, or summer either.
- In today’s world, even teens have wives watching over them- You can call it the “Wifi”
- I finally learned how to look thin- Just hang out with your chubby friends.
- The college student approaches their father with enthusiasm, exclaiming, “Hey, I’ve got some amazing news for you!” The father inquires, “What might that be?” The college student reminds his father about the promise of $1000 upon getting accepted at Columbia University. The father recollects the commitment, and the college student jokingly informs him that his money isn’t going anywhere.
- Who are the most cunning prisoners that keep breaking out? Your Pimples
- When informing the doctor about breaking the arm in two spots, the doctor humorously advised to avoid visiting those spots.
- Which celebrity is famous for sleeping? Jay zzz
- A couple was arrested for a serious crime stating they both stole each other’s heart.
- A man said to his wife- Even in a world without gravity, I would still find myself falling for you.
- What is Justin Timberlake good at? Chopping off trees.
- How would you keep a pirate silent? Take out the alphabet R from their dictionary.
- If lemurs buy Tesla, what would they make? A Madagascar
- How can you tell if someone likes wine? Don’t bother; they’ll tell you.
- I saw an IPA doing a hoppy dance.
- Why is alcohol prohibited in math exams? Because drunk deriving is illegal.
- They often say money speaks, but mine seems to only utter one word: Adiós
- Ever heard a doggy rap? I have – Snoop Dogg
- I have my doubts about elevators- They are always up to something.
- Atoms, you see, should never be fully trusted. After all, they’re responsible for making up stuff.
- In a match between a skeleton and a ghost, who will win? None- They both don’t have guts.
Conclusion
Finally, the world of dark humor jokes is a one-of-a-kind and daring playground where laughter dances on the verge of taboo. With their twisted wit and surprising punchlines, these jokes challenge social norms, push boundaries, and provide an outlet for the absurdity of life’s darkest moments.
While not for everyone, dark humor jokes provide a cathartic release, reminding us that laughter can be a powerful coping mechanism even in the darkest times. So, whether you’re ready to embrace the unusual or prefer lighter fare, remember that comedy is a versatile art form that can bring joy and provoke thought in various ways.
I am a passionate beer connoisseur with a deep appreciation for the art and science of brewing. With years of experience tasting and evaluating various beers, I love to share my opinions and insights with others and I am always eager to engage in lively discussions about my favorite beverage.
