Bars are great places to meet someone, but considering many people go to bars to get someone’s attention, it is not easy to leave a bar with a person you like. Sure, some people have the natural talent to lure a person their way, especially if they are good-looking, are highly confident, or simply show off how wealthy they are; it is much more complicated for the majority.
So, how do you go from appearing too eager to displaying charisma? Here are 6 ways that make it easier to find a partner at a bar:
1. Don’t drink too much
When you go to a bar with only one aim: to drink, it’s okay to get completely wasted, but not when you have the intention of meeting someone. Impressing someone is hard when you are intoxicated. Imagine going up to someone to talk to them with a slurred speech where no sentence that comes out of your mouth makes sense.
Imagine also being unable to walk properly because you couldn’t control the amount of alcohol you consumed. You’re going to appear like a total loser in front of your potential partner, and even if they came with the intention of finding someone, they will most definitely not leave the bar with you.
Drinking too little or not at all is also not going to be helpful. People go to bars to have fun, and sobriety ruins the mood. Instead, try to reach a state of tipsiness where you are fun and remember the conversations you’re having. This also allows you to have an intimate moment with someone where you discuss things that interest you both.
2. Stay natural
What people like most in their partners is the confidence of being in their own skin. Don’t be the person who tries too hard to get attention. For instance, some invest a ton of money on showy clothes and accessories that they hope would attract someone’s gaze their way.
But this strategy might actually be counterproductive. This is not to say that appearance doesn’t matter. Going in your pajamas to a club with undone hair, for instance, makes you look untidy and suggests that you don’t care about basic etiquette.
So, while you need to make sure that you look good, don’t wear something that makes you look unnatural or takes your originality away. You will be much better off being who you are rather than someone you are pretending to be.
3. Be a social animal rather than a wallflower
While there’s nothing wrong with being a wallflower, if you’re looking for a partner, you need to show them that you are approachable and get along well with others. Shyness ruins the mood and the opportunity for you to find a suitable individual because it prevents you from talking openly or comfortably.
Instead, if you are confident, friendly, and pleasant to talk to, you’ll get a lot of opportunities to talk to many people at the bar. Who knows, you might even end up with someone you’ll be friends with for the rest of your life.
4. Stop displaying your neediness
If there’s one thing that’s a big turn-off, it’s your incessant need to hog someone’s attention and follow them around. It shows how desperate you are, and desperation does nothing but scare people away. You need to show people that you are calm, attentive, and have a solid head on your shoulders.
If you stare, utter meaningless sentences, and get too pushy, you are going to be the last person someone would want to spend time with. People enjoy originality and someone they can have a decent conversation with. If you don’t know how to behave properly at a bar, then you certainly need to work on your people skills.
5. Show respect
If you consider the other person as an object you can have at your will, they will know it and won’t give you much importance. Respect should be reserved for every being on the planet, not just family or people you care about. Respect is also paramount because it shows how mature of a human you are.
You can be considerate by giving value to other people’s preferences. For instance, if you like someone and go up to them for a chat, you should try to find things that please them and talk to them more about them.
This shows that you are genuinely interested in them as a human being and would go out of your way to find out more about them. It also makes conversations more meaningful and interesting. You might end up talking to them for hours.
6. Be full of creative ideas
It’s dull to talk to a person with an empty mind. If you want to attract someone, you should be ready to propose interesting activities like karaoke. Even if you sing badly, it doesn’t matter because what’s important is that you’re willing to invest your time and energy into doing something fun with someone.
Karaoke is something that many people enjoy, especially after having a few drinks, because it makes them feel confident enough to sing. Even if you lose touch with them later, they will definitely remember how much fun they had with you that night at the bar.
Finding someone at the bar is not easy, especially if you are timid. However, the 6 tips listed above will help you improve your chances of getting noticed. You need to remember that no human being wants to be treated like an object and if you go with this intention, you are likely to be seen as someone pathetic.
It’s always a good idea to improve yourself as a person before you meet someone because a person who is respectful is always attractive in the eyes of others. Also, you need to be ready to talk about meaningful topics for a lasting impression.
I am a passionate beer connoisseur with a deep appreciation for the art and science of brewing. With years of experience tasting and evaluating various beers, I love to share my opinions and insights with others and I am always eager to engage in lively discussions about my favorite beverage.